Thrive in Parenting and Family Life
“In the beginning you laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you remain; they will all wear out like a garment. Like clothing you will change them, and they will be discarded. But you remain the same, and your years will never end. The children of your servants will live in your presence; their descendants will be established before you.” -Psalm 102:25-28, Psalm 90:1-2 and Hebrews 1:10-12
Being a parent is the most important job in the world, and no amount of training can prepare you for it. I mean the world looks at you as overseeing another human being that has a mind and will of their own! The definition of challenging. Even though parenting will be a journey of constant prayer, seeking counsel from others and learning, we can be grateful there are guidelines to help us along the way. Then Manoah prayed to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I beg you to let the man of God you sent to us come again to teach us how to bring up the boy who is to be born.” -Judges 13:8 Manoah asked how to bring up Samson, as he realized like most parents do that this is a hard task, and we all need guidance! “All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace.” -Isaiah 54:13
“Jesus gave them this answer: ‘Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does.” -John 5:19-20 and John 5:21-30 Did you know we all have mirror neurons that guide us to imitate and behave what we see? We begin to develop so many of our neurons, even right after are born. Even Jesus Himself made a reference that He only does what He sees His Father doing, our God. It is so important you begin to guide your children the way you want them to go in the beginning, and your direction will be there until they are old. “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it.” – Proverbs 22:6 Maybe you feel your parents or Father was not the best example, but God still asks us to honor them and him. If you feel He asked or has done things you do not think God would desire you to do, God is also our Father, and should be all our examples as well. “If the part of the dough offered as first fruits is holy, then the whole batch is holy; if the root is holy, so are the branches.” – Romans 11:16
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” -Deuteronomy 6:5-9 and Proverbs 7:2-3
Kids learn by example. I learned to help others, handle my own finances, pray, study, work, exercise, or tithe because I saw my parents doing it. You will never always be able to do it all, so please know loving God as a parent is the best example you can set for your child. I feel I better trust God because I have seen my parents do it. Who do kids generally look up to and learn from more than anyone? Their parents! Who are they always watching? Their parents. How do they swear at such a young age when our words accidentally slip from us when they are around? There … You get the point. One time I was helping my little cousin bake cookies and told her not to eat the sprinkles while we were decorating. She looked at me and said, “But you’re doing it?” Wow, she was right. I didn’t even realize, but what I did realize quick is how much children watch, learn and behave like we do. We are to impress the commandments of God on our hearts, and on our children’s hearts. Talking about God, His love and commandments is supposed to be a regular conversation at home, when you go for walks, before you go to bed and when you get up in the morning. Scripture should be in your home, another example of how they are affected not only by the people, but words around them.
“Only be careful and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. Remember the day you stood before the Lord your God at Horeb, when he said to me, “Assemble the people before me to hear my word so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children.” -Deuteronomy 4:9-10.
“Keep God’s commands so you may enjoy a long life resulting in your children and their children fearing God.” -Deuteronomy 6:2
“One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts. They speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty- and I will meditate on your wonderful works. They tell of the power of your awesome works- and I will proclaim your great deeds. They celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness.” -Psalm 145:4-7
As parents, we are to tell our kids about the mighty acts God has done throughout His word and in our own lives to encourage them. If your son asks, “What is the meaning of the commands the Lord has given you?” Deuteronomy 6:20, says God commands we “obey and to fear Him so we may prosper.” – Deuteronomy 6:24 If our children ask what is the purpose the commands God has given us? Why are they important? The word says God gives us the commands so we may prosper, because He wants you to thrive!
“For everyone belongs to me, the parent as well as the child- both alike belong to me. The one who sins is the one who will die.” -Ezekiel 18:4 Our kids are God’s, not our own but they are an incredible gift from him! “When they see their children, the work of my hands, they will keep my name holy; they will acknowledge the holiness of the Holy One of Jacob, and will stand in awe of the God of Israel.” -Isaiah 29:23, Hebrews 2:13 and Isaiah 8:18 “Children come from God and are a reward from him comparing such as arrows in the hand of a warrior, blessed if you have many.” -Psalm 127:3-5 He knows what is best for them, and we need to trust Him. I know this is so hard, because there is evil absolutely everywhere. However, God is everywhere too! “Who can hide in secret places so that I cannot see them?” declares the Lord. “Do I not fill heaven and earth?” – Jeremiah 23:24 My parents said it was not easy, but they trust and are able to let me bloom because they know Jesus is on my side. Remember God loves your child more than you do. Think of how much you love your children! That is more love than we can fathom! Parents feel the pressure to be perfect for their children, and I want you to know you do not need to be perfect to inspire your kids. Your child needs to see a parent depending on God. Everyone who heard this wondered about it, asking, “’What then is this child going to be?’ For the Lord’s hand was with him.” -Luke 1:66 “The Lord’s hand was with them, and a great number of people believed and turned to the Lord.” -Acts 11:21
“…But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” -Joshua 24:15 As a parent, it is our responsibility to do the best to lead our children to Jesus and living a Godly life. We are all busy, I know it can be time consuming, but what is more important than your children? I love the story when Jesus was at Martha’s and Mary was at His feet listening. Martha was taking care of all the preparations and asked Jesus to make her help. Jesus said you are worried about so many things, when all you need to focus on is me (Luke 10:38-42). When questioning priorities, I think of what it eternal. One of the best prayers is asking God how to prioritize your time, as there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking care of your home, and there are other places in scripture God says it is good and important to stay busy taking care of our homes (Titus 2:5). It is a matter of what the prioritize is for us to do from God in that moment. If we are always cleaning our homes with no time for Jesus or family, that is different than making cleaning your home apart of your priorities in general.
The only “things” which will last forever are people, God’s word and God himself. However, it is impossible to keep yours kids from evil in this broken world. The best thing you can do is equip them to be a light in the world and not giving into the evil. Jesus is the difference. No matter if your child does chores growing up, no matter if you pay for them growing up, no matter if they go to public or private, Jesus is the difference. Parents will say “spoiled” kids will not grow up working hard. Well, I am here to tell you, my parents helped me so much growing up. They provided, I appreciated. I mean, I was spanked and disciplined, but they paid for me to do club sports, paid for my schooling other than my loan I had to take out for graduate school (which was still a lot of money), and bought me a car and guess what? I went to school to work hard in school for good grades and to get my masters to become a certified hand therapist. I worked hard at sports. I desired to go to church. I wanted to respect my parents. We did not have curfews or controlled spied screen time. You know why? Jesus. I am by no means saying parents should not control these aspects or have differing opinions on it. My point is, that all parenting can be respected as long as Jesus is the difference. My brother and I still had our times where we got into trouble (me more than him), but my point being we went back to our foundation. I also know people who did many chores growing up, worked a lot and did not go to school, or even those who did. They did not want to work as hard or were not as appreciative because Jesus was not their motivation. “How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word.” -Psalm 119:9 You can’t child-proof the world, but you can world- proof your child! My Mom and Dad have been both extremely influential in my life. I want to point out two completely different careers. My mom stayed home to take care of us and our home, while my Dad works a full time job as a commodities trader on the Board of Trade. The commonality of how they influenced me even though they had completely different jobs was Jesus.
“Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.” -Psalm 127:1 If your family is not centered on Jesus, pain will affect the home. There is no perfect family out there, just like there is no perfect human being other than Jesus. Many times, families lash out at each other because of hidden pains or unsaid issues which only create more hurt. The first step is identifying the hurt and admitting our sins. Genuine apologies go a long way. The beauty is if we let Him, God can make good from painful circumstances in our family. Not because our pain is not severe, but because He is just that powerful. I admire how much my parents found joy in everything growing up. My mom would love to clean, telling us it was because she knew she has a family God blessed her with to clean after. Dad found joy in the business of working on the Board of Trade and coaching, saying he was blessed to have the ability to coach his children and take care of His family.
It is so important at a young age we explain to children that Jesus is their best friend. Relationships will come and go since they are young, that includes some bullying. Elisha was bullied and called a “badly” then God had a bear come and attack his oppressors (2 Kings 2:23-24). When our children have confidence that God is their best friend, they will be less likely to feel lonely and understand their value and worth even when others do not. We all know this world can be cruel, and it seems like no matter how popular or not we are in school, someone will always have something to say. The words will hurt our children, just like they still hurt us as adults even though we do not always admit it, my turning point was when I realized what Jesus says about me is true, that He designed how I am supposed to look, regardless of what others thinks; what about your talent, skills or looks. Even with gossip and rumors. It is so easy to get inside our own heads, thinking what others say is true. Teach them what Jesus has to say because sometimes children do not even see what their parents say as truth. I love that my mom thinks I am beautiful, but deep-down children sometimes feel parents are supposed to say that. Your words of encouragement impact your child, do not think otherwise. But just imagine, telling your child the King of the universe hand-picked their eyes, nose, cheeks, and smile. That is something to take pride in!
It is so easy to brag when your child has an accomplishment, but it is important to always give the glory back to God. Dad’s reminders are: ‘Work hard. Give Glory to God. Be thankful for your skill set. You are champions for Jesus! Hard work and humility go hand in hand. remember to serve, it is not all about you but the people you help, stay grounded, stay humble in Jesus! He is the tie that binds! I have no doubt! I pray you stop worrying about the things that don’t matter. Give it to God! God has put you where you are not only to be successful, but to help others God has great plans, His plans, and that is all that matters. I love you and your brother more than you know.” Out of all my Dad’s encouragement, nothing will comfort your child more than telling them God has perfect plans for their life, and with God all things are possible. My Dad has always been my coach. No one has ever pushed me harder, has told me to quiet down more (even when the entire team is talking, I get yelled at), and yet has seen the most potential in me. If it were not for him and my Mom, I would not be the student, athlete, therapist or disciple I am today. He has instilled a passion and work ethic in me for school, sports, work, people, life, and God. He did not become this father by chance, but by choice of God.
A prayer he sent me and my brother before we left for college read this,
“Dear Lord, my emotions are mixed. On one hand, I feel life’s mission has been accomplished. On the other hand, I’m feeling a little sad missing our kids already. Please remove my worry. Go with them Lord, as they head into the world. Bless them, protect them and keep them close to you. Do not let the world derail their faith or steal their optimism. Help me continue to keep praying for them, because they will always be my children even though they are on their own. I commit them into your hands God. In Jesus name, amen.” I thought this was a great prayer to share for all the parents struggling when your children leave for the college as the heartache can be unbearable. Pray for your children. This is the best thing you can do. You will not have all the answers, none of us do, but God does!
My mom once said: “Great kids do not just happen. They are molded from birth with the Lord’s guidance. Thank you, Lord, for letting us as parents have the opportunity to guide your children. Better is coming from our Father. Continue to work hard, stay dedicated and motivated. Love you and your brother so much.” My favorite quote from my Mom has to be one time when I asked her, “Are you eating alone?” She said, “No, I’m having Taco Bell with Jesus.” As hilarious as this sounds, we really are never alone, even at Taco Bell. I admire her confidence in the Lord, and it is something I strive for daily. I was always embarrassed to ever be alone until she introduced me to this mentality.
I have always been competitive in sports like my Dad and knew he would be proud if we placed at nationals for our travel softball team and if I played sports in college, which I ended up playing volleyball. I also always had the dream to be prom queen like my Mom and knew she would be so proud of me if I was. Well, the day came when I was crowned prom queen, just like her! I was beaming. However, I was surprised when both of my parents were proud, but I just did not get the fulfillment from them I was looking for. They told me these accomplishments did not make them proud or make them love me more or less. They already love me because I am their child. God looks at us the same, did you know that? I get this false mentality all the time I can make God “proud” of me, or worse, that I can disappoint Him if I do not do enough or be enough. God’s love for you can never change no matter what you do, because you are His child, He already loved you the moment you conceived in the womb as much as He will love you the day you die with all your accomplishments.
I have friends and family who have dealt with infertility and miscarriages. I have talked with them, to get an understanding on the intense pain, heart ache and what brings them comfort in the difficult time. It is so hard, because there is conflict in what brings some people comfort, but others hurt. Some people take comfort knowing it will happen on God’s time, others it brings grief when their heart is hurting. Some said the best thing is just to know others are hurting with them and praying for them. Check in with your friends and family to see how they are doing. Scripture references how God is the Giver and Taker of life, and the grief and prayer that were to follow. “The angel of the Lord appeared to her and said, ‘You are barren and childless, but you are going to become pregnant and give birth to a son.’” -Judges 13:3 “He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord.” -Psalm 113:9
“So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife. When he made love to her, the Lord enabled her to conceive, and she gave birth to a son. The women said to Naomi: “Praise be to the Lord, who this day has not left you without a guardian-redeemer. May he become famous throughout Israel! He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age. For your daughter-in-law, who loves you and who is better to you than seven sons, has given him birth.” Then Naomi took the child in her arms and cared for him. The women living there said, “Naomi has a son!” And they named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David.” -Ruth 4:13- 17.
God closed Hannah’s womb. In deep anguish Hannah prayed to God weeping bitterly making a vow if He gave her a son, she will give him back all the days of her life. (1 Samuel 1:10-11) “Eli answered, “’Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.’ She said, ‘May your servant find favor in your eyes.’ Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast. Early the next morning they arose and worshipped before the Lord and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah made love to his wife Hannah, and the Lord remembered her. So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him” 1 Samuel 1:17-20.
“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. 28 So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.” -1 Samuel 1:27-28. Elizabeth says the same in Luke 1:25 about John.
“Then Hannah prayed and said: “My heart rejoices in the Lord; in the Lord my horn is lifted high. My mouth boasts over my enemies, for I delight in your deliverance. “There is no one holy like the Lord; there is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God. “Do not keep talking so proudly or let your mouth speak such arrogance, for the Lord is a God who knows, and by him deeds are weighed. “The bows of the warriors are broken, but those who stumbled are armed with strength. Those who were full hire themselves out for food, but those who were hungry are hungry no more. She who was barren has borne seven children, but she who has had many sons pines away. “The Lord brings death and makes alive; he brings down to the grave and raises up. The Lord sends poverty and wealth; he humbles and he exalts. He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honor. “For the foundations of the earth are the Lord’s; on them he has set the world. He will guard the feet of his faithful servants, but the wicked will be silenced in the place of darkness.” -1 Samuel 2:1-9
The stature and favor with the Lord and people. (1 Samuel 2:21 and 1
Samuel
daughters, one being Samuel who grew up in. (2 Samuel 13:10-12)
2:26). The Lord was gracious to Hannah with three sons and two
“Both of them were righteous in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commands and decrees blamelessly. 7 But they were childless because Elizabeth was not able to conceive, and they were both very old.” -Luke 1:6-7, Luke 1:5
“But the angel said to him: “Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to call him John. He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, 15 for he will be great in the sight of the Lord.” – Luke 1:13-14, Luke 1:8-12, Luke 1:15-16
“…to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” -Luke 1:17 However in Luke 1:18-20 Zechariah doubted because of their age, and the angel made him silent due to his unbelief until John was born in Luke 1:63-65.
We look at those in the Bible and realize there is hope for all of us. Even those who made the greatest impact on the world from their faith in God, made the worst mistakes which lead to pain in their families. 2 Samuel 13:14 talk about David’s daughter and son which unfortunately is a story about rape. Absolutely devastating. I say this so you know you are not alone if you feel the weight of the broken world affecting your family. God wants to help, and every single family has brokenness they have either worked through or are working through. Do not be fooled from outward appearances. “…but the house of the righteous stands firm.” -Proverbs 12:7 “The Lord’s curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous.” -Proverbs 3:33, 1 Chronicles 13:14 and 2 Samuel 23:5 The verse in 1 Chronicles 13:14 gives a specific example about how this was true for Obed-Edom. The Lord blessed his household and everything he had because the ark of God was in their household. We will never have it together, so the key is we are only righteous in Christ, and making the broken home centered on Christ to bring restoration and reconciliation within relationships in the family. From youth until today until we are old, we will never see the righteous forsaken and their children will be a blessing. (Psalm 37:25-26)
He commands us to tell the next generation, our children, the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord in His power, the wonders He has done for Jacob and Israel so they can tell their children and put their trust in God, not forgetting his deeds or commands. (Psalm 78:4-7) Every time I would come to my friend Claire, who is about 10 years younger than I, with something I am worried about, her immediate response is to trust God. There is no anxiousness in her voice, and always peace that whatever happens, He will take care of. Whatever happens, He will turn for His glory. Whatever happens, will be His perfect will. I admire that there is no hesitancy whenever I come to her. You can tell she genuinely cares about me and what I am struggling with, but where the peace comes from is regardless of my situations, she has complete trust in God’s omnipotence no matter what the world has to say, it does not phase her. I have been working on responding the same way while our nation faces political turmoil and as the world continues to fall away from the ways of God.
“Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who find great delight in his commands. Their children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed.” -Psalm 112:1-2 “Whoever fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge.” -Proverbs 14:26 Even though children still have to make their own choices and parents cannot receive salvation for their children, it comes down to whether we fear the Lord or not, that stance will still have a direct effect on our children.
“Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience to him. You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Yes, this will be the blessing for the man who fears the Lord.” -Psalm 128:1-4
Your entire family is affected whether you fear the Lord or not, as this fear will directly impact how you live.
“Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace. Our barns will be filled with every kind of provision. Our sheep will increase by thousands, by tens of thousands in our fields; our oxen will draw heavy loads. There will be no breaching of walls, no going into captivity, no cry of distress in our streets. Blessed is the people of whom this is true; blessed is the people whose God is the Lord.” -Psalm 144:12-15
“A good person leaves an inheritance for their children’s children, but a sinner’s wealth is stored up for the righteous.” -Proverbs 13:22 “Those who do not provide for their relatives, especially their own household, is worse than an unbeliever.” -1 Timothy 5:7-8 God even provides financial guidance for families. He advises us as parents to provide for our own family directly in the household, as well as to leave an inheritance for grandchildren.
“If you spare your children discipline, God compares this to hating your kids but if you love them you will discipline.” -Proverbs 13:24, Proverbs 19:18 and Proverbs 23:13-14 Discipline creates hope and the Bible even says it steers children from death itself. “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.” -Proverbs 22:15 Isn’t it funny that it seems you don’t have to teach kids to misbehave? Many studies have been done whether kids will cheat or not for a reward if they do not think anyone is watching them as opposed if you are watching them or tell them God or their imaginary friend is. I think most would say 100% of the kids cheated when thinking no one was watching. “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.” -Proverbs 29:17 Parents sometimes seem to be scared to discipline their children, thinking it will ruin their relationship with them when it is the opposite. If you discipline sternly out of love, trying to steer them in the right path and not to satisfy your own anger, it leads to peace and life for your children, and your whole family.
Help your parents out. They are under so much pressure to “control” you even when they ultimately have no means to. Tell them you are confident God is taking care of you, so they know you are ok, even when going through hard times. “A fool spurns a parent’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence.” -Proverbs 15:5 and Proverbs 13:1 Do not reject your parents discipline but pay close attention to correction to have self-control. “To have a fool for a child brings grief; there is no joy for the parent of a godless fool.” -Proverbs 17:21 “A wise son bring joy to his father, but a foolish son brings grief to his mother.” – Proverbs 10:1, Proverbs 17:25 and Proverbs 23:22-25 “If someone curses their father or mother, their lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.” -Proverbs 20:20 Do not curse your parents. I know it gets hard when the anger is fuming, and emotions are high. Words may come to mind but do all you can to not curse them.
You are supposed to honor your father and mother, as this is the first commandment with a promise. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord and honor your mother and father which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may go well with you, and you can enjoy a long life. Fathers, bring up your children in the training and instruction of the Lord.” -Ephesians 6:1-4 Paul says just like a nursing mother cares for her children, so he loves those in Thessalonica. He was delighted to share the gospel and his life. He talks about his toil and hardship, working to not be a burden while he preached the gospel. He says he dealt with each of them like a father that deals with his children, encouraging, comforting and urging to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory. (1 Thessalonians 2:7-12) If your parents ask you to do something Christ would not approve of, pray God to show you how you can still do what is right while wording it in a way to honor your parents.
“Instruction is given not to rebuke older men harshly but talk as if he is your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers and younger women as sisters with purity. Give proper attention to widows making sure their family puts their religion to practice by caring for them to please God.” -1 Timothy 5:1-4
This encouragement addresses you like a father and his son. It says to the son, take the Lord’s discipline seriously, do not lose heart when He rebukes you because He disciplines who He loves, who has Jesus. Embrace hardship as discipline. God is treating us as His children and what children are not disciplined by their Father? If you didn’t have discipline, you are not truly His child. We respect our earthy father for his discipline, how much more should we submit to our Father and live! Our father’s discipline for a little while but God disciplines us for our good to share in his holiness. (Hebrews 12:5-10)
“Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commandments. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you.” -Deuteronomy 8:2-5.
My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” – Proverbs 3:11-12 and Revelation 3:19 Just like parents’ discipline children because they love them, the Lord does the same with us.
“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” – Matthew 10:37 and Malachi 1:6. “Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to see you.” He replied, “My mother and brothers are those who hear God’s word and put it into practice.” -Luke 8:20-21, Matthew 12:49-50, Mark 3:34-35, Mark 10:28-31, Luke 18:28-30, Matthew 19:27- 30 God is clear we are to love and care for our families. Then what do these verses mean? Jesus is making a point that even though our family is supposed to be our priority, He is supposed to come first. He also makes a point that even though they are our family by blood they will always have a special place in our hearts, our church family is what will last for eternity, which hopefully our families by blood are a part of too. Anyone who is a believer in the world is a part of the church family, and He wants us to recognize them as just that.
“The disciples asked Jesus who is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven? He called a child and said unless you become like little children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven. You must take the lowly position of this child to be the greatest in heaven. Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. God says the children’s angels always see God’s face.” -Matthew 18:1-5, Mark 9:36- 37, Luke 9:48, Matthew 18:6, Luke 17:1-2, Mark 9:42, Matthew 19:13- 14, Mark 10:13-16, Luke 18:15-17, Matthew 20:16, Matthew 19:13-14, Mark 10:13-16 and Luke 18:15-1 and Matthew 18:10. In Matthew 18:6, Luke 17:1-2 and Mark 9:42
God gives a harsh warning to those who cause children to stumble. When trying to help children or youth in general, let them feel you embracing them without judgment. Let them know even if they are struggling, you are there to walk beside them and they are welcomed to talk to you anytime. Children are considered the greatest in the Kingdom of God and should be treated as and reminded of this!
“Teach sounds doctrine, teach older man to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, sound in faith, love and endurance. Teach older women to be reverent in how they live with no slander, careful with addictions to wine and to teach what is good. They should teach younger women to love their husbands and children, self-control, pure, busy at home, kindness, to be subject to their husbands. Encourage younger men to be self-controlled. Set an example doing what is good, teaching and showing integrity, soundness of speech that cannot be condemned so those who oppose you are ashamed.” -Titus 2:1-8
The guide for older men is to be temperate, worthy of respect, self- controlled, sound in faith, love and endurance while mentoring younger men to do the same. Women are to work on refraining from talking about others behind their backs to bring them down or have others look differently about them, to enjoy wine but not to become addicted, and to mentor younger women in love, work and to be self-controlled. We are to teach, mentor and live in such a way those who oppose those who live for Christ cannot truly find a reason why.
I want to elaborate more on why and how to not slander others. I have struggled in two ways with slander. One, the desire to talk about someone else to others when they have hurt you in order to change how others feel about them which is wrong and I have quickly convicted myself of that, but two, the desire of wanting to be honest with others when they ask about an individual. There have been times my heart is in the right place in the sense I truly do not want others to feel ill toward anyone who has wronged me, but if someone asks me specifically about my relationship with that individual, I do not want to lie and say it is great. It is not your responsibility, and I would argue it is wrong for you to share what could slander that person depending on who you are talking to. Pray for God’s discernment if you truly need advice on how to handle a situation or relationship, but I know I have been convicted I need to be more careful that even in my heart if I think I am being truthful, if I willfully know what I am saying will slander the person, depending who I am sharing the information with, I need to pray for more discernment from Christ instead of the automatic sense of I need to tell the truth. Do not lie. I am not encouraging you to lie, as it is just as much a sin to do so, but I do feel God will help you with how to word your situation or relationship in a way you can get the help you need without slander.
“I have no greater joy than this, to hear my children walking in the truth.” -3 John 4 and 2 John 1:4 As a parent, I cannot imagine a greater joy than knowing our kids are walking in the truth. Even though we cannot make the decision for them, we have so much of an influence in our guidance, example, and prayer. The good news is, regardless the outcome in your day-to-day life of parenting, you never have to feel anxious because God is the builder of your home and family, and you, your home and family belong to Him. Pray and put it in His hands, and I cannot wait to see the beautiful home and family He creates for His glory and goodness, and for your goodness, through all the mistakes and imperfection. Even if some in the family refuse to believe, you can keep Him in the home. You best believe He is present with His Holy Spirit inside of you, and never underestimate the power of a praying family member. With God in the home, it will be the best! “For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.” – Hebrews 3:4. “Everything under heaven belongs to me.” -Job 41:11
